After spending two weeks walking around college campuses in the Chicago area, I came to the stark conclusion that, given the state of the fashion sense of college men, it was time to write part two of fashion tips for college guys. The first ten tips covered the basics, but here we go for a little more honesty, and a whole lot more in-depth tips for looking good and maintaining your reputation as a successful male in college.
11. For the love of God, do not wear jorts. I understand that you may be going for the hipster look, but you look absolutely ridiculous. Please, don’t. No matter who you are, jorts don’t work on men.
12. Cardigans. Ask my friends – my motto is, “no man looks good in cardigans.” This motto is true for about 90% of college men for a very definite reason. To look good, cardigans must fit your shape well. Loose cardigans make me cringe.
13. Manscaping. Yes, I said it. It is not the hairy Seventies anymore. Chest hair. Out. Beards. Out. Sideburns. Out. Clean-shaven and trimmed chest hair. In. Welcome to 2011, my sasquatch-looking friends.
14. Tie-dye. No! This should be a given, but at my school we had tie-dye kid. He never got a date the his four years of college. I’ll let you guess why.
15. Undergarments. Don’t pretend you are the only person who will be seeing these. College is a time where, at some point or another, they will be exposed. Don’t be caught in boxers with beer cans or naked lady prints. Pick a classic black or grey boxer-brief; your significant other will love it.
16. Sports logos. They are alright for working out, but too many guys wear sports logos or the names of other universities around on a daily basis. I have my one LSU sweatshirt, and that is all. There’s a word for wearing sports team shirts on a daily basis – tacky.
17. Scarves are not just for girls. Even in south Louisiana, it gets cold enough for a scarf once in a while. Grandma’s knitted scarves are ok, but hop on over to the nearest mall and pick out a fashionable scarf that can last for years.
18. Backpacks. Your backpack is a sign on your back that makes a statement about you – the person. Do not be the funny guy who gets a child’s cartoon backpack for college. Newsflash- that’s not funny; it’s just awkward and creepy.
19. The dreaded Peruvian, wool pullover, sweatshirt-type thing. This is, in essence, hippy clothes. You’re in college, not in Machu Picchu. Put it away.
20. Overall physical cleanliness. This bears repeating. No matter what you buy or how you dress, if you are dirty, you will not get dates, probably not have many friends, and may actually inhibit your relationships with professors and interviewers.